{"id":60949,"date":"2019-08-11T14:31:38","date_gmt":"2019-08-11T11:31:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=60949"},"modified":"2023-03-05T13:09:15","modified_gmt":"2023-03-05T11:09:15","slug":"comforting-the-mourning-king","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/comforting-the-mourning-king\/","title":{"rendered":"Comforting The Mourning King"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[834,900,484],"acf":{"old_id":"60949","type":"no","iframe":"","writer":60994,"related_cahpter":"282","type_929":"2","show_author_image":false,"old_create_date":"","old_url":"","post_main_content":{"description":"Joab is brash, but David needed to be reminded of the world outside of his self","content":"

The Absalom cycle in 2 Samuel is one of the most gripping stories of the Tanach. The tale of ambition, of civil war, of father against son still resonates with modern readers. Who can help but sympathize with David as he struggles to hold his throne against his rebellious son, while still instructing his soldiers \u201cdeal gently with my boy Absalom, for my sake?\u201d Who greets every messenger from the battlefield with the question \u201cIs my boy Absalom safe?\u201d And then dramatically wails upon receiving the tragic news \u201cMy son Absalom! O my son Absalom, my son! If only I had died instead of you!\u201d (2 Samuel 19:1). For perhaps the first time in David\u2019s life, he prefers something else to the throne.<\/span><\/p>\n

David\u2019s deep despair makes his general Joab\u2019s response so much more jarring. He confronts David, tells him that David is embarrassing himself, angrily exclaims \u201cI am sure if Absalom were alive today and the rest of us dead, you would have preferred it,\u201d and demands David arise and stop mourning, lest he insult the remainder of his army. And shockingly, David mutely obeys, without a word of recorded protest (2 Samuel 19:7-9).<\/span><\/p>\n

Joab\u2019s brash conduct is strikingly against traditional Jewish law and custom, not to mention basic decency. The Shulkhan Aruch, for instance, instructs against even initiating a conversation with a mourner until the mourner begins or in someway indicates their willingness to talk (Yoreh De\u2019ah 376:1). For most of us, it is impossible to read Joab\u2019s words without flinching. But David says nothing. Even years later, when on his death bed he instructs Solomon to solidify his reign by having Joab put to death, the reason he gives for the execution is Joab\u2019s killing of \u201ctwo commanders of Israel\u2019s forces, Abner son of Ner and Amasa son of Jether, he killed them, shedding blood in peacetime\u201d (1 Kings 2:5). Absalom is not mentioned. Why?<\/span><\/p>\n

It is extremely hard to be a mourner. It is also hard, in its own way, to be a comforter. It is hard knowing how to comfort the bereaved. There is a reason the Shulchan Aruch includes laws regulating what a comforter should and should not do. Knowing how to approach death, and how to approach someone who has lost a loved one, is challenging. It is tempting to say that Joab is surely in the wrong here. At the very least, his tone and word choice are unacceptable for comforting a mourner. But perhaps Joab was also, in some unintentional way, in the right. Perhaps David needed to be reminded of the world outside of his self. For the rest of the chapter, David goes right back to ruling, and his armies recover their morale.<\/span><\/p>\n

None of us should speak to a mourner like Joab did to David. Rather, it is worth taking the time to think about what the mourner needs to hear, what would be most healing for them in their specific circumstance. Joab may have accidentally provided that to David. It would be good it we could intentionally provide it for those who need it most.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

image: Charles Foster, David Mourning for Absalom, The Story of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, 1873\u00a0 \/ wikimedia<\/p>\n","image":{"ID":60950,"id":60950,"title":"2sam19-David_mourning_for_Absalom1","filename":"2sam19-David_mourning_for_Absalom1.jpg","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/2sam19-David_mourning_for_Absalom1.jpg","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/comforting-the-mourning-king\/2sam19-david_mourning_for_absalom1\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"2sam19-david_mourning_for_absalom1","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":60949,"date":"2019-08-11 11:03:58","modified":"2023-03-13 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