{"id":59643,"date":"2019-07-17T17:52:32","date_gmt":"2019-07-17T14:52:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=59643"},"modified":"2023-02-07T18:43:09","modified_gmt":"2023-02-07T16:43:09","slug":"shame-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/shame-man\/","title":{"rendered":"Shame-Man"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[465,361,551,586],"acf":{"old_id":"59643","type":"no","iframe":"","writer":56290,"related_cahpter":"265","type_929":"2","show_author_image":false,"old_create_date":"","old_url":"","post_main_content":{"description":"Every person has a name\r\ngiven to him by God\r\nand given to him by his father and mother\r\n\u00a0. . . \u00a0\u00a0by Zelda Mishkovsky","content":"

Naming is so important in Jewish tradition. Parents agonize over what to call their child.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Hebrew names all have meaning in the Torah, often they are explicitly connected to the character. Isaac\u2019s name is connected to Sarah\u2019s laughter at the time she learned she would bear a child. Jacob is a \u201cheel\u201d until he grows and is renamed \u201cIsrael,\u201d because he struggles with God and humans.<\/span><\/p>\n

In our chapter, names and their meaning pop out at us, including my favorite name:\u00a0 Ishboshet \u201cShame Man.\u201d Sounds like a super-hero, or perhaps a villain in a Batman movie.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Shame-Man might have one of two powers, in my imagination.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

He might be the one who spreads shame wherever he goes. In this scenario, Ishboshet stops people in their tracks and fills them with self-doubt and negativity. Instead of acting to improve the world, people end up stuck, wondering if anything they do could possibly be worthwhile. Relationships end, as each person is convinced of his inadequacy. Slowly but surely shame paralyzes the world.<\/span><\/p>\n

Or, Shame-Man might himself be filled with shame. His superpower might be self-loathing, self-doubt, self-fear. A role-model for those who wonder if each person is really created in the image of God. Shame-man withdraws from family, feeling unworthy of their love, disrupting those around him. His talents all go unused, because he doesn\u2019t believe he possesses anything worth sharing.\u00a0 People who knew him before his \u201csuper power\u201d of shame wonder where he went, why he no longer cares about anything around him. They even start to blame themselves, causing the shame to multiply, or become angry at Shame-Man, and then at themselves, for failing to \u201cfix\u201d him. Feeling of impotence spreads, and, once again, shame spreads and paralyzes.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Shame is not guilt. Guilt is the feeling we experience after doing something that violates our values. Shame is a feeling we have about ourselves. Guilt is about an action; shame is about who we are.\u00a0 Guilt helps to motivate us to change: to apologize to those our actions have hurt, and then to behave differently in the future. Guilt leads to <\/span>teshuva<\/span><\/em>\/repentance.\u00a0 Shame tells us that who we are is bad. Shame looks deep into our <\/span>neshama<\/span><\/em>\/soul, and rejects it. It is unworthy, tainted, too horrible to be loved. Guilt can be remedied with action, while shame can\u2019t; it can only be hidden.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I know of no Ish-boshet today, yet, shame still abounds in our community. Stigmas of mental illness or addiction, for example, still prevents people from being seen and getting the support they deserve. A person is not \u201cbad\u201d or \u201cnot trying hard enough\u201d because she has recurrent depression; she has a serious illness and deserves our prayers and actual support.\u00a0 There is no shame in mental illness, but there might be plenty of guilt for many of us.<\/span><\/p>\n

So take notice of all, and let it be known that Shame-Man no longer dwells among us.<\/span><\/p>\n","image":{"ID":59644,"id":59644,"title":"2sam2-shame","filename":"2sam2-shame.jpg","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/2sam2-shame.jpg","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/shame-man\/2sam2-shame\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"2sam2-shame","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":59643,"date":"2019-07-17 14:52:15","modified":"2022-04-05 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