{"id":56750,"date":"2019-06-03T19:28:26","date_gmt":"2019-06-03T16:28:26","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=56750"},"modified":"2022-12-26T18:19:48","modified_gmt":"2022-12-26T16:19:48","slug":"unyearned-for-blessings-unuttered-prayers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/unyearned-for-blessings-unuttered-prayers\/","title":{"rendered":"Unyearned For Blessings; Unuttered Prayers"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry-content\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[521,882,431,437,470],"acf":{"old_id":"56750","type":"no","iframe":"","writer":56492,"related_cahpter":"233","type_929":"2","show_author_image":false,"old_create_date":"","old_url":"","post_main_content":{"description":"If Hannah was grateful to God because she received a child she so desperately prayed for, what should my gratitude look like?","content":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Hannah\u2019s words to the high priest Eli \u2013 <\/span><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">El ha\u2019naar haze hitpalalti<\/span> <\/em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><em>vayiten li et sheelati asher shaalti meimo<\/em> <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cfor this child I have prayed and God has granted me what I asked of Him,\u201d <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(verse 27) kept reverberating in my mind and lips in the hours and days following the birth of my son. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These words reflect Hannah\u2019s metamorphosis from a supplicant woman begging God for a child to a triumphant mother, a prophetess whose prayers of entreaty and gratitude end up shaping the contours of Jewish prayer.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But it wasn\u2019t Hannah\u2019s battle over infertility that I identified with &#8211; I was and am acutely aware that I did not face her struggle. My challenges in the road to motherhood were different: my sorrow and anguish came not from yearning for a child but feeling guilty that I did not dream of one. Even throughout my pregnancy, I was immersed in feelings of uncertainty and fear, ambivalence over motherhood, and anxiety that a child would bind me in irrevocable and unwanted ways. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The moment my son was born, though, transformed me in ways I could not have predicted. The fears and anxieties did not dissipate but they became anchored in a deep existential certainty that my child was wanted, that my becoming a mother was something I chose and desired and would not want to give up. And while I know this is not the reality that all women have, as some continue to feel misaligned with motherhood, my experiences moved me in a deeply spiritual way. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It was in the daze of processing the corporeal aftermath of childbirth and feeling overwhelmed by the emotional experience of loving my child that Hannah\u2019s words came to mind. If Hannah was grateful to God because she received a child she so desperately prayed for, what should my gratitude look like? I hadn\u2019t known to beg God for a child, I did not have the yearning to pray for one. And still, God blessed me by giving me a gift that I did not know I wanted. Hannah\u2019s words humbled me and expanded my sense of spiritual gratitude. I realized that my thankfulness to God for becoming a mother must include an acknowledgment of radical divine generosity: God&#8217;s gift of blessings granted that were not yearned for, of prayers answered that were not uttered.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>image by Gerd Altmann \/ pixabay<\/p>\n","image":{"ID":56754,"id":56754,"title":"isam1-prayer abstract","filename":"isam1-prayer-abstract.jpg","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract.jpg","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/unyearned-for-blessings-unuttered-prayers\/isam1-prayer-abstract\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"isam1-prayer-abstract","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":56750,"date":"2019-06-03 16:28:11","modified":"2023-05-08 14:29:58","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":1920,"height":1440,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract-150x150.jpg","thumbnail-width":150,"thumbnail-height":150,"medium":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract-300x225.jpg","medium-width":300,"medium-height":225,"medium_large":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract-768x576.jpg","medium_large-width":768,"medium_large-height":576,"large":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract-1024x768.jpg","large-width":1024,"large-height":768,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract.jpg","1536x1536-width":1536,"1536x1536-height":1152,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract.jpg","2048x2048-width":1920,"2048x2048-height":1440,"post_full_size":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract-1200x900.jpg","post_full_size-width":1200,"post_full_size-height":900,"home_baner":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-prayer-abstract-560x420.jpg","home_baner-width":560,"home_baner-height":420}},"embedded_video":"","video_duration":"","show_fb_comments":true,"credit_media":""},"tile":{"top_caption":"","main_caption":"Unyearned For Blessings; 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