{"id":56658,"date":"2019-06-02T17:39:51","date_gmt":"2019-06-02T14:39:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=56658"},"modified":"2022-12-26T15:20:06","modified_gmt":"2022-12-26T13:20:06","slug":"and-her-voice-was-not-heard","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/and-her-voice-was-not-heard\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cAnd Her Voice Was Not Heard\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[882,362,833,600],"acf":{"old_id":"56658","type":"no","iframe":"","writer":56286,"related_cahpter":"233","type_929":"2","show_author_image":false,"old_create_date":"","old_url":"","post_main_content":{"description":"Every woman has been Hannah \/ I have been Eli too.","content":"

Every woman has been Hannah:<\/span>
\n<\/span>broken, misunderstood,<\/span>
\n<\/span>Assaulted<\/span>
\n<\/span>with presumptions.<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cOnly two children? Time to grow that family!\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cWorking so much? Who\u2019s at home?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cTwo boys? You must be trying for a girl.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

Women\u2019s bodies remain open<\/span>
\n<\/span>to interpretation,<\/span>
\n<\/span>the canvas on which dreams<\/span>
\n<\/span>of Jewish continuity<\/span>
\n<\/span>splash in bold brushstrokes:<\/span>
\n<\/span>a womb bearing<\/span>
\n<\/span>the weight<\/span>
\n<\/span>of ancestors\u2019 struggles,<\/span>
\n<\/span>neighbors\u2019 hopes,<\/span>
\n<\/span>strangers\u2019 expectations. <\/span><\/p>\n

We hear echoes in our ears and later,<\/span>
\n<\/span>at night, in our brains \u2013 <\/span>
\n<\/span>older women in the checkout line,<\/span>
\n<\/span>haughty men in the office,<\/span>
\n<\/span>kibitzers<\/span><\/em> at shul \u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>whispering, lecturing, looking<\/span>
\n<\/span>subtly downward,<\/span>
\n<\/span>not subtly enough. <\/span><\/p>\n

To me, the voices say, \u201conly two children?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span>To others, they say, \u201conly one?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span>Or \u201cnone? What are you waiting for?\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201cKeep trying,\u201d they say, and<\/span>
\n<\/span>\u201ctime is of the essence.\u201d<\/span>
\n<\/span>And, they imply,<\/span>
\n<\/span>we\u2019re all counting<\/span>
\n<\/span>on you. <\/span><\/p>\n

The voices know what we\u2019re good for.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Who we should be. What<\/span>
\n<\/span>women want,<\/span>
\n<\/span>or should want.<\/span>
\n<\/span>They know what fills<\/span>
\n<\/span>and fulfills us best.<\/span>
\n<\/span>They know our stories<\/span>
\n<\/span>with only a glance. <\/span><\/p>\n

Hannah, that<\/span>
\n<\/span>Drunk.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Judged always. <\/span><\/p>\n

But let\u2019s be honest.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I have been Eli<\/span>
\n<\/span>too.<\/span><\/p>\n

Second-guessing other women,<\/span>
\n<\/span>Presuming.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Glancing sidelong<\/span>
\n<\/span>at their bodies.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Wondering,<\/span>
\n<\/span>whispering. <\/span><\/p>\n

I cannot stop myself<\/span>
\n<\/span>being Hannah<\/span>
\n<\/span>at times;<\/span>
\n<\/span>Weeping,<\/span>
\n<\/span>Shattered.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I can ignore or rebut<\/span>
\n<\/span>but not prevent. <\/span><\/p>\n

But I need not be<\/span>
\n<\/span>Condescending,<\/span>
\n<\/span>Castigating<\/span>
\n<\/span>Eli. <\/span><\/p>\n

Instead, I can declare \u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>and mean it \u2013<\/span>
\n<\/span>each body is beautiful.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Each woman chooses.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Each family differs.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I do not know her story.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I cannot presume. <\/span><\/p>\n

When I remember<\/span>
\n<\/span>myself as Hannah,<\/span>
\n<\/span>the wronged,<\/span>
\n<\/span>I forget that I am also<\/span>
\n<\/span>Often<\/span>
\n<\/span>Eli. <\/span><\/p>\n

I want to be neither,<\/span>
\n<\/span>not the judged<\/span>
\n<\/span>nor the judge.<\/span>
\n<\/span>But, if I must choose,<\/span>
\n<\/span>I choose Hannah.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Let others guess and gossip;<\/span>
\n<\/span>not me. Remember, I tell myself,<\/span>
\n<\/span>not me. <\/span><\/p>\n

May I never look<\/span>
\n<\/span>at a woman,<\/span>
\n<\/span>my world of sisters,<\/span>
\n<\/span>and think:<\/span>
\n<\/span>drunk. <\/span><\/p>\n

No.<\/span>
\n<\/span>Your pain is your own.<\/span>
\n<\/span>I will not presume.<\/span><\/p>\n","image":{"ID":56659,"id":56659,"title":"isam1-hannah","filename":"isam1-hannah.gif","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/isam1-hannah.gif","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/and-her-voice-was-not-heard\/isam1-hannah\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"isam1-hannah","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":56658,"date":"2019-06-02 14:39:39","modified":"2019-06-02 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