{"id":51307,"date":"2019-03-13T15:21:38","date_gmt":"2019-03-13T13:21:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=51307"},"modified":"2022-10-04T15:21:09","modified_gmt":"2022-10-04T12:21:09","slug":"courtship-then-and-now","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/courtship-then-and-now\/","title":{"rendered":"Courtship \u2013 Then And Now"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Our chapter contains a list of various laws. Among them is found what became the brief biblical basis for Jewish marriage practice: \u201cA man takes a woman and has sexual relations with her\u2026\u201d (Deuteronomy 22:13, see also Deuteronomy 24:1). <\/span><\/p>\n

The Mishnah (Kiddushin 1:1) legislates that such \u201cconsummation\u201d is just one way of creating the marital relation between a man and a woman: “A woman is acquired [in marriage] in three ways\u2026by money (i.e. by the transfer from the man to the woman something of monetary value, e.g. a ring), by a document (stating in writing that the man is taking the woman as his wife) or by sexual intercourse.”<\/span><\/p>\n

According to the Talmud (Yevamot 52a), Rav ruled that any couple employing sexual intercourse by itself to create the marriage bond should be flogged for licentious behavior in \u201crebellion\u201d against rabbinic authority, though the marriage bond itself would necessarily still be considered halakhically binding. <\/span><\/p>\n

Elsewhere in the Talmud (Kiddushin 2b), Rabbi Shimon found reference to courtship practices in our chapter by asking: \u00a0Why did the Torah state, \u201cA man takes a woman\u2026\u201d (Deuteronomy 22:13) and not \u2018if a woman be taken to a man\u2019? This is because it is the way of a man to go in search of (i.e. court, woo) a woman, but it is not the way of a woman to go in search of a man. This may be compared to a man who lost something. Who goes in search? The loser goes in search of what he lost (according to Rashi, the man lost \u201cone of his ribs\u201d, a reference to Adam in Genesis 2:21-23). Indeed, in most traditional societies until this day, the man is generally expected to be the one to initiate any relationship that might eventually develop into marriage. <\/span><\/p>\n

Courtship practices are an important area of modern anthropological and sociological research. Today, there is generally more acceptance of women as well as men initiating romantic interest in each other. Online dating services are used by both sexes for finding prospective marital partners. So, in our day, would a rabbinic sage like Rabbi Shimon condone the use of an internet connection for cultivating personal relationships? \u00a0And what might Rav have to say about some currently accepted social mores?<\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/p>\n

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