{"id":50680,"date":"2019-03-03T23:15:03","date_gmt":"2019-03-03T21:15:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=50680"},"modified":"2022-09-25T15:41:16","modified_gmt":"2022-09-25T12:41:16","slug":"a-delicate-balance","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/a-delicate-balance\/","title":{"rendered":"A Delicate Balance"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry-content\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[662,484,354],"acf":{"old_id":"50680","type":"no","iframe":"","writer":33923,"related_cahpter":"167","type_929":"2","show_author_image":false,"old_create_date":"","old_url":"","post_main_content":{"description":"While not endorsing Stoic control, the tradition here forbids self-destructive displays of ostentatious bereavement","content":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cYou are children of the Lord your God. Do not cut yourselves or shave the front of your heads for the dead, for you are a people holy to the Lord your God. Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be His treasured possession\u201d (Deut. 14:1-2).<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These words have had a considerable history within Judaism. The first inspired the famous statement of Rabbi Akiva: \u201cBeloved is man because he was created in the image [of God]. Beloved are Israel for they are called children of the All-present\u201d (Avot 3:14). The phrase, \u201cDo not cut yourselves\u201d, was imaginatively applied by the sages to divisions within the community (Yevamot 14a). A single town should not have two or more religious courts giving different rulings.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The plain sense of these two verses, though, is about behaviour at a time of bereavement. We are commanded not to engage in excessive rituals of grief. To lose a close member of one\u2019s family is a shattering experience. It is as if something of ourselves had died too. Not to grieve is wrong, inhuman: Judaism does not command Stoic indifference in the face of death. But to give way to wild expressions of sorrow \u2013 lacerating one\u2019s flesh, tearing out one\u2019s hair \u2013 is also wrong. It is, the Torah suggests, not fitting to a holy people; it is the kind of behaviour associated with idolatrous cults.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Halakhah, Jewish law, strives to create a balance between too much and too little grief. Hence the various stages of bereavement: aninut (the period between the death and burial), shiva (the week of mourning), sheloshim (thirty days in the case of other relatives) and shanah (a year, in the case of parents). Judaism ordains a precisely calibrated sequence of grief, from the initial, numbing moment of loss itself, to the funeral and the return home, to the period of being comforted by friends and members of the community, to a more extended time during which one does not engage in activities associated with joy.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The more we learn about the psychology of bereavement and the stages through which we must pass before loss is healed, so the wisdom of Judaism\u2019s ancient laws and customs has become ever more clear.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>\n<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">From:<\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The Limits of Grief (Covenant &amp; Conversation, Re\u2019eh 5777)<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<p>Image by IzaRut on Pixabay<\/p>\n","image":{"ID":50681,"id":50681,"title":"dt14-bereavement-","filename":"dt14-bereavement-.jpg","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement-.jpg","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/a-delicate-balance\/dt14-bereavement\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"dt14-bereavement","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":50680,"date":"2019-03-03 21:14:40","modified":"2019-03-03 21:15:01","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":1280,"height":1920,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--150x150.jpg","thumbnail-width":150,"thumbnail-height":150,"medium":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--200x300.jpg","medium-width":200,"medium-height":300,"medium_large":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--683x1024.jpg","medium_large-width":683,"medium_large-height":1024,"large":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--683x1024.jpg","large-width":683,"large-height":1024,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement-.jpg","1536x1536-width":1024,"1536x1536-height":1536,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement-.jpg","2048x2048-width":1280,"2048x2048-height":1920,"post_full_size":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--800x1200.jpg","post_full_size-width":800,"post_full_size-height":1200,"home_baner":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--280x420.jpg","home_baner-width":280,"home_baner-height":420}},"embedded_video":"","video_duration":"","show_fb_comments":true,"credit_media":""},"tile":{"top_caption":"","main_caption":"A Delicate Balance","main_caption_size":"1","sub_caption":"While not endorsing Stoic control, the tradition here forbids self-destructive displays of ostentatious bereavement","preview_embedded":"","preview_image":{"ID":50681,"id":50681,"title":"dt14-bereavement-","filename":"dt14-bereavement-.jpg","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement-.jpg","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/a-delicate-balance\/dt14-bereavement\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"dt14-bereavement","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":50680,"date":"2019-03-03 21:14:40","modified":"2019-03-03 21:15:01","menu_order":0,"mime_type":"image\/jpeg","type":"image","subtype":"jpeg","icon":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-includes\/images\/media\/default.png","width":1280,"height":1920,"sizes":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--150x150.jpg","thumbnail-width":150,"thumbnail-height":150,"medium":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--200x300.jpg","medium-width":200,"medium-height":300,"medium_large":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--683x1024.jpg","medium_large-width":683,"medium_large-height":1024,"large":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--683x1024.jpg","large-width":683,"large-height":1024,"1536x1536":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement-.jpg","1536x1536-width":1024,"1536x1536-height":1536,"2048x2048":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement-.jpg","2048x2048-width":1280,"2048x2048-height":1920,"post_full_size":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--800x1200.jpg","post_full_size-width":800,"post_full_size-height":1200,"home_baner":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/dt14-bereavement--280x420.jpg","home_baner-width":280,"home_baner-height":420}},"preview_video":"","external_link":"","link_for_pay":false,"tile_gallery_items":false,"credits":""},"alternate_tile":{"top_caption":"","main_caption":"","main_caption_size":"1","sub_caption":"","hide_media":false},"tile_group":{"preview_image_url":false,"main_caption":"","sub_caption":"","":null,"popup_package_extra_content":"","read_time":""},"home_color":"","home_gallery_top":"","home_gallery_middle":"","home_gallery_book":"","home_gallery_bottom":"","seo":{"seo_title":"","seo_description":"","seo_default_title":"","seo_default_description":""},"links":false,"send_noty":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50680"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=50680"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50680\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":108194,"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/50680\/revisions\/108194"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=50680"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=50680"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=50680"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}