{"id":48712,"date":"2019-02-04T18:02:36","date_gmt":"2019-02-04T16:02:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=48712"},"modified":"2022-08-28T13:57:53","modified_gmt":"2022-08-28T10:57:53","slug":"necessary-silences","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/necessary-silences\/","title":{"rendered":"Necessary Silences"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry-content\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[473,649,428,548,377],"acf":{"old_id":"48712","type":"no","iframe":"","writer":47016,"related_cahpter":"147","type_929":"2","show_author_image":false,"old_create_date":"","old_url":"","post_main_content":{"description":"Not every act nor every speech act that a child practices needs parental commentary","content":"<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> \u201c<em>V\u2019heherish lah<\/em>\u201d: if a woman makes an oath in her father or her husband\u2019s house (under his authority) and he is silent in relation to her, the oath stands. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Silence is tacit compliance. It is the absence of opposition. It may not be enthusiastic, but it \u00a0accepts because it does not need to deny. Silence gives the woman authority to make a binding obligation between herself and God.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In ancient times, a woman usually lived under the authority of her husband or father. Today, \u00a0when I look for an analogue, I think of the way our children live under parental authority. There is an important difference in these two scenarios of authority: children are always on a path to adulthood, whereas in ancient times, women might find themselves in situations of autonomy, but only under certain circumstances, not as a matter of course.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Nevertheless, the analogy allows us to consider when silence is called for as we take care of those entrusted to us, in a God-given universe. When adults care for and protect children, it is with the presumption that as children grow, increasingly more decisions will be theirs to make. The obligations they take upon themselves will bind them, not us. Their messes will be their own to clean up; their achievements, their own as well. When a child reaches the age of mitzvot, the \u201c<em>&#8216;ol mitzvot,\u201d<\/em> the yoke of commandments, is now theirs alone.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Each human being has a voice. A child has a voice.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Each human being has a will. And ideas. A religious person will have that voice, will, and ideas, in relation to God, as well as to other human beings.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Sometimes, when I hear my child\u2019s voice, then my voice \u2013 as a parent &#8212; is called for in order to oppose, to limit, to deny my child\u2019s desires and impulses, to countermand their speech. When I must intervene to prevent, then I speak.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">But at other moments, holy moments, when a child asserts his or her deepest self in a form that bears no harm, then maybe we need to be silent \u2013 \u201c<em>v\u2019heherish lah<\/em>.\u201d Let their words stand. Recognize their autonomy, their intention, their selfhood, a selfhood that comes into being through speech, but also through adult silence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Not every act nor every speech act that a child practices needs parental commentary, not even approval or confirmation. The world is vast and its silences need to be a comfort, too.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If I can find the right silence, my child can begin to hear and speak.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Another ear is listening.<\/span><\/p>\n","image":{"ID":76501,"id":76501,"title":"hos11-parent child","filename":"hos11-parent-child.jpg","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/hos11-parent-child.jpg","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/children-are-forever\/hos11-parent-child\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"hos11-parent-child","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":76500,"date":"2020-06-26 13:08:14","modified":"2023-08-20 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