{"id":44905,"date":"2018-11-29T15:00:55","date_gmt":"2018-11-29T13:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=44905"},"modified":"2018-11-29T15:00:55","modified_gmt":"2018-11-29T13:00:55","slug":"aarons-grief-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/aarons-grief-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Aaron\u2019s Grief"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Leviticus 10 opens with the sudden death of Aaron\u2019s sons Nadav and Avihu. Having offered a \u201cstrange fire\u201d before God, God kills them instantly. Aaron, in response to their sudden death and Moses’ explanation of what happened, is silent (10:3). This might surprise us: as their father, why does Aaron seemingly not react, not cry out in anguish or anger?<\/span><\/p>\n

Generations of commentators help us understand the reaction within the silence. Some look underneath Aaron\u2019s silence to find a process of reconciling to their death. We learn from the Talmud, Zevachim 115b, that Moses told Aaron that their death was a sanctification of God\u2019s name, and since Aaron knew that God loved his sons, he felt relieved. Rabbi Eliezer Lipman Lichtenstein understands that the Hebrew word for \u201csilent\u201d in the verse (\u05d5\u05b7\u05d9\u05bc\u05b4\u05d3\u05bc\u05b9\u0596\u05dd) emphasizes that his heart and soul were at peace, and he did not question God\u2019s verdict or justice.<\/span><\/p>\n

Others have interpreted his silence to mean that he was mourning. Rabbeinu Bahya teaches that silence is one of the ways in which people express mourning. Baruch Levine comments that a better way to translate \u05d5\u05b7\u05d9\u05bc\u05b4\u05d3\u05bc\u05b9\u0596\u05dd is \u201cto mourn\u201d, which suggests that Aaron initiated formal Jewish mourning.<\/span><\/p>\n

Another interpretation is that Aaron\u2019s heart broke, rendering him silent. Abravanel teaches that Aaron\u2019s heart turned to lifeless stone, and because of this he neither mourned as a grieving father would, nor did he accept Moses\u2019 attempt to console him. His soul simply left him, and he was speechless.<\/span><\/p>\n

Those of us who have experienced loss or have been with others who have experienced loss may have noticed an interesting paradox: while we have a deep cultural understanding of what grief is supposed to look like, we also know that no one grieves in exactly the same way. Some, like Aaron, are silent, while others want to talk a lot about their loved one. Some cry, while others seem emotionless as they focus on the logistical aspects of the loss. Contemporary grief theory suggests that many people\u2019s grief includes alternating between deep sadness and focus on the loss to moving forward with life and not engaging with the loss much at all. There is simply no one way, and no right way, to grieve.<\/span><\/p>\n

Aaron\u2019s response to his son\u2019s death reminds us that grief can take many forms. Whether his silence meant he was in an inner process of reconciliation, was engaged in Jewish mourning practices, or was simply heartbroken, he was surely in the process of grieving, whether or not it might look like that to us.<\/span><\/p>\n

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