{"id":38153,"date":"2018-08-19T11:47:22","date_gmt":"2018-08-19T08:47:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=38153"},"modified":"2022-03-14T14:02:14","modified_gmt":"2022-03-14T12:02:14","slug":"the-rock-at-the-gate-at-the-entrance-to-heaven","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/the-rock-at-the-gate-at-the-entrance-to-heaven\/","title":{"rendered":"The Rock at the Gate at the Entrance to Heaven"},"content":{"rendered":"
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28:11-12 He came upon a certain place and stopped there for the night, for the sun had set. Taking one of the stones of that place, he put it under his head and lay down in that place. He had a dream; a stairway was set on the ground and its top reached to the sky, and angels of God were going up and down on it.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Sleeping at this place
\n<\/span>Or at least trying.
\n<\/span>A stone for my pillow
\n<\/span>Or at least it feels that way,
\n<\/span>There is no comfort here.
\n<\/span>I obsess and worry,
\n<\/span>I have made such a mess.
\n<\/span>I see steps that could take me away.
\n<\/span>There could be happiness,
\n<\/span>There could be One-ness,
\n<\/span>But not yet,
\n<\/span>Not at this gate to the entrance to heaven.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

I want so much.
\n<\/span>I want to be of help,
\n<\/span>I want to do good,
\n<\/span>I want to experience everything,
\n<\/span>I want to be wanted.
\n<\/span>I watch so many others ride up that escalator,
\n<\/span>the one that leads to…
\n<\/span>Well, I don’t know what it leads to.
\n<\/span>I stare through the bars of the unlocked opening,
\n<\/span>But I don’t go in to the gate at the entrance to heaven.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

What if all it leads to is oblivion?
\n<\/span>What if there is no traveling up past that ladder?
\n<\/span>Only pain, then nothing?
\n<\/span>No one will remember a thing about me.
\n<\/span>I’m an idiot, a fraud!
\n<\/span>Overconfident and messy, brash and hurtful,
\n<\/span>Selfish and false, no one needs me.
\n<\/span>Soon it will not matter.
\n<\/span>Really, what does
\n<\/span>At the gate at the entrance to heaven?
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

Amidst all this self-pity I hold on to one thing.
\n<\/span>Yes,
\n<\/span>It’s that stone pillow
\n<\/span>For my hard hard head.
\n<\/span>It tried to make me comfortable,
\n<\/span>In its own rocky way.
\n<\/span>I asked for a place to sleep and it said,
\n<\/span>Here I am, at the gate at the entrance to heaven.
\n<\/span><\/p>\n

In the morning I will be exhausted.
\n<\/span>I probably will have slept but I won’t remember having done so.
\n<\/span>I will move on, because that’s what I do.
\n<\/span>At least
\n<\/span>I will leave behind this rock
\n<\/span>In this place
\n<\/span>As my assertion
\n<\/span>That I lay down at the gate to the entrance to heaven.<\/span><\/p>\n","image":{"ID":84943,"id":84943,"title":"ps68-heaven clouds","filename":"ps68-heaven-clouds.jpg","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/12\/ps68-heaven-clouds.jpg","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/god-rides-the-clouds\/ps68-heaven-clouds\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"ps68-heaven-clouds","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":84942,"date":"2020-12-16 11:09:29","modified":"2022-10-17 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