{"id":38110,"date":"2018-08-19T07:23:48","date_gmt":"2018-08-19T04:23:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/?p=38110"},"modified":"2022-03-13T15:06:08","modified_gmt":"2022-03-13T13:06:08","slug":"what-was-going-through-jacobs-head","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/what-was-going-through-jacobs-head\/","title":{"rendered":"What Was Going Through Jacob\u2019s Head?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"entry-content\"><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[281],"tags":[486,490,386],"acf":{"old_id":"38110","type":"no","iframe":"","writer":37140,"related_cahpter":"27","type_929":"2","show_author_image":false,"old_url":"","post_main_content":{"description":"My father asks me to draw near, and the part of me that wants to be like Esau steps forward","content":"<p><em><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">An inner monologue of Jacob as he enters the tent of Isaac<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I have never been like Esau. My mother put clothes on me that are like his and cooked a stew for my father and put goat-hair on my arms to make them burly and masculine, but I am not Esau, never have been and probably never will be. I don\u2019t even know if I want to be like him. Part of me does and part of me doesn\u2019t.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The part of me that does strides towards father\u2019s tent as though I had just been hunting. The part of me that doesn\u2019t has weak arms and can barely hold this heavy pot.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I pause at the threshold of the tent and look at my father in silence. He has a kind and vulnerable face. How can I betray him?<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I put down the stew, it thuds on the dirt floor. My father turns toward me. I summon a voice that comes from the part of me that wants to be like Esau, deep and brawny. \u201cFather\u201d I say. I cannot muster another word. And my father asks me, point blank, which son I am.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The part of me that doesn\u2019t want to be like Esau screams \u201cJacob! I am Jacob! Can\u2019t you tell? Don\u2019t you know your own sons?\u201d Even though he cannot see me, I want to believe that my father can sense my unique soul entering the tent. But the words of my mother are firmly planted in my head, the memorized script are the only words I can think of. I respond, with the voice who wants to be Esau, \u201cI am Esau, your first-born I have done as you told me. Pray sit up and give me your innermost blessing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The part of me that wants to be like Esau feels triumphant, elated. The part of me that does not burns with shame. The latter reviews the script; inserting words. \u201cI am [Jacob],\u201d \u201cEsau [is] your first born. I have done as you told me [at other times but not today. Today I am betraying you, and myself.] Pray sit up [and recognize me for who I truly am,] and give me your innermost blessing [the one designated for the real me].\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My father asks me to draw near, and the part of me that wants to be like Esau steps forward. The other part of me, the one who with the weak arms and high voice who lives with mother, and likes to cook and dress-up, steps backwards, and flees the tent.<\/span><\/p>\n","image":{"ID":93770,"id":93770,"title":"job6-heads confrontation","filename":"job6-heads-confrontation.png","filesize":0,"url":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/job6-heads-confrontation.png","link":"https:\/\/wp.929.org.il\/en\/job-vs-eliphaz\/job6-heads-confrontation\/","alt":"","author":"7","description":"","caption":"","name":"job6-heads-confrontation","status":"inherit","uploaded_to":93767,"date":"2021-06-01 11:58:15","modified":"2022-03-13 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